Friday, May 14, 2010

My Sydney Sisterhood...

I have been thinking a lot about my new daughter. She is kicking me constantly now and has made her presence well known since the get go. If this pregnancy is any indication of how strong her will, will be, then I am downright scared!(She made me crave crab for god sakes!) I think back to when I was a teenager and shutter when I think about how I and some of my girlfriends were to our mothers. Even as an adult, I know so many women who do not get along with their mothers. I cannot think of one man who doesn't adore his Mommy. While Liam is quite close to his Daddy and I am pretty sure he considers him his best friend ever, I am quite confident in my position in his heart. You best not mess with Liam's Mommy if you don't want a good smack. I am pretty sure Liam learnt this from his father. Bill sure loves his Mommy too. So, therein lies my fear. I don't want my daughter to have a love/hate relationship with me. I want a shopping buddy, a pedicure pal, and a coffee conversationalist. Am I being to honest? Are these fears things I am not supposed to voice? Well, too bad I guess, cause I have never been especially gifted at knowing when to keep it to myself. So right now I am going to make the decision to have a marvelous love/love relationship with little Miss Sydney. Bring your worst sister, cause I am sure that my fear of your rejection is stronger than your will to rule the roost! You can make me puke for months on end, eat me alive with heartburn, turn my extremities into marshmallows, and make me consider eating what I would normally consider disgusting (all this before you are even born!) but you can't make me dislike you. I am going to love you. You and I are going to be great friends! Although I am willing to admit that I am wrestling with some anxieties, I am going to place my heart in the hope of all the joy and sisterhood you are going to bring to my world and in return I am going to give you extreme grace when your hormones are out of control, and love you no matter what. I am so excited to meet my Sydney.
P.S.
Mom- This is in no way an indication of how I feel our relationship is. While our time together is limited, I treasure it. I wish it could be more. I miss you. I love you. Thanks for setting an example on how to love your daughter.

4 comments:

  1. Aww, I love it. Very inspiring, and just the kind of person you are.

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  2. Tamara, with a Mom like you how can it be anything but wonderful. There will probably be trying moments during her phases of growing up but eventually I'm sure you will have the relationship that you dream of and beyond your dreams.

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  3. I still believe girls are the best! STOP worring so much!! EVERYTHING will be wonderful!! I love you!

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  4. Inspiring...very lovely! THere is nothing better than a little girl...except having a daughter and a son! You are very lucky and so is little Sydney and Liam.
    I so wish I was bringing my little Savannah to show you how great a little girl is...she is such an amazing great little girl! I am sad you will never see her so young.

    I can wait till we do a mother/daughter/sister trip to PARIS....all the girls to Paris!

    love you...xx Davia

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